Someone recently asked me if I had any potty training tips. The truth is-potty training is a work in progress for everyone involved. My mom has always said that the two hardest things she has ever done are potty training her kids and teaching them how to drive. I always understood the caution when it came to driving, because there are various safety concerns, but toilet training? How hard could that be?
Turns out, potty training is a beast in its own right and has everything to do with the child and very little to do with you.
For example, I thought I’d be proactive with my son; teaching him to use the potty right as he turned 2. But the reality is, kids will go on the potty when they are ready to go on the potty. By the time my son turned 3 he was successfully potty trained, but it was on his terms.
The same can be said for my daughter. I started potty training her before she turned 2, and she was going on the potty pretty consistently. Until she wasn’t. We got to the point where she would know she has to go potty, but then deliberately not go on the potty. Literally looking right at me and saying “I’m going potty right now.”
It can be frustrating for parents, but I think a lot of parents have to understand that kids will go to the potty when they are ready and there are so many variables that factor into it. Does the child have an older sibling to watch as a model? What is the child’s temperament? Is it a case of your child doesn’t want to stop playing to go, or can he/she really not tell yet? Are girls really easier than boys to potty train?
It’s enough to make your head spin. But rest easy, Momma. According to the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics), the developmental age for toilet training has gone up from 18 months to between 21-36 months of age. That means, it is more developmentally appropriate for your child to begin toilet training anywhere from 21-36 months of age and only about 40% of children are toilet trained by 36 months.
Before we dive into some methods for training, let’s take a look at some of the necessities before beginning potty training:
- Potty Chair: You’ll need a potty chair to keep in the bathroom prior to starting training. This is the one we have but there are so many to choose from and one is not better than the other!
- Toddler Urinal (for boys): We loved this for our son. He practiced “aiming” with this urinal so I didn’t have (as much) spray on the walls in my bathroom.
- Potty Training Seat: We used these as the kids got more used to going on the potty. It’s a great transition from the potty chair to the big potty.
- A reward of some type: This is a completely personal decision but with our kids we did reward them at first as they were recognizing that they needed to go potty. We used candy because my kids love M&M’s! They got one M&M if they ran to the potty and went when they had to go.
I have my own strategies to tackle potty training with my littles, but I did some research on some of the best used approaches on toilet training. Here’s a few of the methods that seem to be the most popular:
- The Brazelton Approach: The idea behind this approach is for parents to look for readiness cues – called “touchpoints”- to assess when their child is developmentally ready to begin training.
- The Spock Approach: This approach is similar to Brazelton in that it is recommended waiting until your toddler lets you know he/she is ready for potty training. Dr. Spock argues that starting potty training too early can lead to behavioral problems in children.
- Dr. Schmidt’s Approach: Dr. Schmidt is a professor of pediatrics at the University of Colorado. His approach is parent-led and gradual; having parents use gentle reminders to jump start their toilet training. For example, leaving out the potty chair just for your child to see, letting your child sit on it fully clothed to get used to it and gradually working your way up to trying to potty on the potty chair.
- Bare-Bottomed Approach: I know several parents who use this approach. The idea behind this approach is more geared toward 30 months +. With this approach you let your child go without pants or underpants and when they have to go run them to the potty, or put them on the potty every so often. It’s believed this method works because kids don’t like sitting in their urine, so they will learn to use the potty to avoid that.
Whichever method you use, know that toilet training is a marathon, not a sprint. It will take time to fully train your child to use the potty, and that’s okay. I assure you-no child is going off to college in a diaper! So cut yourself some slack, Momma. You got this!
