I had a great childhood. We lived in a tight community, neighbors were friendly. I remember riding my bike around the neighborhood to friends houses. I remember having my “school friends” and my “pool friends” during the summer, and even though it was a small community the two never seemed to overlap. It took us about five to ten minutes to get to anywhere we needed to go. Life was simple.
While I would love to give my kids the same childhood that I had, I realize that our world is so vastly different than what it once was. I live in a community, but not in the same community where my kids go to school. As a matter of fact, we all commute almost an hour to get to work/school. Everyday. I explained to my oldest son the idea of sacrifice; that we are lucky he is able to go to such a good school and if that means we sacrifice some of our time with driving, that it is worth it.
Additionally, people are overall more guarded in the world we live in. Sure some people are friendly, but some are incredibly wary. And you can’t blame them-this world is full of terrifying situations. I get it.
But I do miss that comfortable, small town feeling. Every once in a while I have this dream that we’ll just pick up and move to a small town somewhere, where it’s idyllic in fall and winter, and warm but not too warm during spring and summer. But, ultimately, I remain here where it’s secure. I think that’s another big fear of mine (and I am sure others as well). In our world now we are lucky if we have a decent paying job. Why would I mess that up? I have a decent paying job working in a school where my own children can attend. I have summers off, despite the stress overload during the school year. Honestly, I am one of the lucky ones.
Sure, it’s not the way I was brought up. But there’s beauty in difference. I had a stable, secure home and the idea of moving away seemed unnerving, which we never did. Whereas my kids might have a stable “home” but will move physical “homes” at least one more time. They have already learned about losing a loved pet, they are learning the idea of sacrificing for an opportunity with better education, and they don’t participate in every activity available.
I remember growing up and playing sports round the year. I was a Girl Scout, a dancer, I did everything I could. My kids play sports, but once they find their niche, that’ll be it. If they don’t like sports as they grow up, fine! If they want to focus on a trade, fine! I want to give them the ability to do what they love, but I want to preserve their mental load too. I want them to be kids-to have evenings where they are bored.
I think as parents in this day and age we are nostalgic when thinking of our own childhoods, but we are also realists in knowing that we live in a totally new world. I want to try to preserve some of that sense of security from my childhood and intertwine that to adapt to the new world in which we live, so
- let them play in the leaves in the yard, but keep an eye on them walking to the mailbox
- let them try new activities and sports, but don’t force them into anything they don’t want to do
- let them ride their bike around the neighborhood, but join them on their ride while riding your own bike
- let them enjoy the “fun” of school, but ensure they know the importance of a quality education
- let them socialize with kids they have never met, but remind them to always be kind
Above all else, remember that these are kids and they have their whole life to make “adult” choices. Let’s keep it simple-love them hard, teach them right from wrong, and show them how to be kind.
