Breastfeeding is always a “hot button issue” for new moms, and after having 3 kids, I don’t get why. I firmly believe that “fed is best”, but I’d be lying if I said I always felt that way. When I was pregnant with my first child, I thought I would breastfeed. I had always read about and heard stories about the only way to truly bond with your baby was from breastfeeding. People made it sound like you were less of a mother if you didn’t breastfeed. So I did what I could to read-up on it and learn more about it. My husband and I took a parent course offered through our hospital on “Breastfeeding 101”, and throughout the course the theme was obvious-”breast is best”. By the time my son arrived, it wasn’t a question. I was going to breastfeed; to feel that special bonding connection with him. When I went into labor, I swear to you every single nurse I had asked me if I would be breastfeeding. When I said “yes”, there was a look of “that’s the right decision” that came across their faces. The pressure was real.
I learned quickly, however, that breastfeeding is a lot tougher than it seems! After giving birth to my son, I ended up having to meet with a lactation consultant while in the hospital. She overwhelmed me with the “right” ways to feed my baby; to cradle my baby while feeding-football hold, cross-cradle hold, side-lying hold…it was all too much. At a time when I should be completely happy and carefree because I just gave birth to my first child, I was stressed. If anything, I should have been stressed over the fact they were letting me take this child home and care for him, not pressured to make sure I had every single breastfeeding strategy down. Because, you know, if I don’t do it right something could happen and you lose that bonding connection with the baby.
So I gave it the old college try. I really tried. I breastfed my son for what seemed like hours on end-who knew cluster feeding was a thing? I basically spent the better part of my Maternity Leave sitting on the couch watching Netflix with a baby attached to my boob. I don’t want to say I didn’t enjoy it….but I didn’t enjoy it. It wasn’t the special, bonding connection that I heard stories about. Honestly? It seemed more like a chore to me. After a month and a half, I called it quits. I moved to combination feeding-feeding formula and breastfeeding-then slowly transitioned to entirely formula feeding. Once that happened, it was like a weight was lifted. I could enjoy the rest of my Maternity Leave with my son and still walk around with my shirt on.
When my second child was born, I started breastfeeding again. The pressure was *still there*. At the hospital, at the OB appointments, and talking with friends. A month in, I quit breastfeeding again. My daughter was not getting the nutrients she needed; my milk wasn’t caloric enough. At the end of the day, I decided feeding my baby is best-whatever that looked like. Coming to that realization was so freeing. I was no longer ashamed to tell people I was formula feeding. Slowly, it started to get better. People’s reactions were less judgmental and more supportive. By the time my third child came around, I knew I would go right to formula feeding. I wasn’t shy about it either. I walked right into the hospital when I was in labor-no shame at all-and told all of them I was formula feeding only from the start. And you know what? Even the hospital nurses were supportive. It’s like this shift happened within the span of 4 years in our country where slowly people were beginning to accept us formula- feeding mamas. Finally!
In no way do I discredit breastfeeding moms. If anything, I am impressed by all of you breastfeeding mamas who make it work everyday-you are heroes! But I tell my story because I want all of you formula-feeding mamas to know that you are heroes, too. Moms are amazing creatures. We can do things no other human in the world can do. Regardless if you are a breastfeeding mom or a formula-feeding mom, please believe whatever way you are feeding your child is best. Don’t sell yourself short by thinking you are “less than” another mom. Moms are amazing. Be proud of what you accomplish every single day because there is no strong like Mom Strong.
