These days are long and draining, but there’s something about that exhaustion at the end of the day that knows I will miss this so much. Yesterday my family had a beautiful family day outside celebrating the Fourth of July, but being outside all day is so draining! When I finally got all the kids in and tubbed, I decided to try to sneak a quick shower in. The idea of taking a shower without an audience? Wouldn’t that be great? Well, as you can guess, it turned into a meltdown from my two oldest since I would not be in their field of vision. They just had to be in my bedroom while I was showering. So, another shower with an audience.
Later that night, when I finally finished most of the straightening up, it was bedtime for our kids. I said “Daddy is home. Maybe he can take you Night Night tonight.” The response: immediate uproar and screams of “I want Mommy to take me!!!!” So I wearily took my tired rear end up the stairs for another 30 minute bedtime. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy these times, but I’d be lying if I said they weren’t exhausting at times.
Still, every night when I finally sit down, I get teary-eyed. I start thinking of the day’s events-the number of times my son wanted to sit on my lap, or play with him, or how many kisses he made me give him before Night Night, and I sit and wonder-will he always love me like this? Will there be a day when he doesn’t want me to give him a hug? What about a day when he’ll be “too cool” for a kiss, or when he won’t have a meltdown if I tell him I’m going upstairs to take a quick shower? I think I know it will come. That time will come when he will be growing up and be more independent and not need or want me around as much. And I want that. I want to raise him to be an independent young man, but I’d be lying if I said I won’t miss the constant needing or the constant random hugs and kisses.
Moms put everything into this “job”, knowing they are raising these tiny human beings to leave them and fly on their own. That’s every mom’s wish for her kids. I can’t say it doesn’t make me tear up thinking of that day. One thing is for sure-and I try to tell my kids often-I will always be here for them no matter what. So for now-until that day comes-I’m soaking in the exhaustion. I know one day I will miss it.
