You’ve heard it countless times before, even way before you had kids: Parenting is a 24/7/365 job. It doesn’t really register, though, until you are in the thick of it.
Parenting is tough.
I think about this every single day. Up at 4am, getting ready for work before any of the kids get up because my husband is already on his way to work and if I don’t get ready before they get up- I’m not getting ready. Getting the kids up, fed, dressed, out the door for school. Driving to work an hour away (of course getting stuck in traffic). Working all day but using every “free” moment I have to call doctors and dentists to schedule and reschedule appointments, and calling companies to pay the bills. Leaving work to go pick up kids realizing I haven’t had a chance to go to the bathroom yet-whoops! Getting kids and enjoying the hour long commute home with, of course, two of the three kids screaming. Getting home and figuring out dinner and tubs and cleaning up the house. Finally putting them to bed. And crashing so I can do it all again tomorrow.
You see that’s just it. Many working parents, heck many working people in general, are exhausted after a long day’s work. But as a parent,when you are dragging and just running on caffeine and tears, that’s when your second shift begins. Now you’ve finished your actual job, but you still have a long evening of parenting ahead of you.
It’s exhausting. October wasn’t the greatest month for us; we had a lot happen between work and losing our beloved dog, Bailey. That in and of itself put a strain on everyone, especially my husband and I. But as a parent you can’t just call in sick or push things until tomorrow. And you don’t want to miss out on some of those things-like playing dinos with your kid or coloring with your kid when you get home even though you can barely function. Before kids, you never really think just how mentally exhausted you can become as a parent.
For me, that mental exhaustion quickly turns into physical exhaustion. I spent the better part of October with what felt like a wooden board on my spine and intense neck pain from stress. And no one is immune to it. Sure, some people have more stresses than others, but the stress from parenting happens to every parent: rich, poor, parents with 1 kid or 7 kids, new parents, young parents, old parents. Every. Single. Parent.
Even as I’m sitting here typing this my mind is still focused on parenting-Did I really finish everything I need for Kindergarten registration? What am I forgetting to do? Don’t forget to get those documents out of your bag and put them back where they belong so you don’t lose them. Did I remember to turn the washer on when I came upstairs?
It is insane. Sometimes I feel like a broken record writing about the difficulties of parenting, but it’s a huge part of being a working parent-that second shift is exhausting! Trust me there are so many positive things about parenting. Things you absolutely love, like cuddling your sweet baby at night and she looks at you and smiles, or teaching your son new ways to write letters, or explaining Santa to your daughter.
There are so many happy moments with parenting. But sometimes it’s easy to get lost in parenting because of the difficulties. And you feel like you’re doing something wrong because it doesn’t seem to affect every parent like it does you. I want you to know-yes, it does.
Some are just better at hiding it than others. There’s no rule book for parenting. Survive. And know that you aren’t the only parent struggling right now. Because parenting is tough.
