Mom Advice

Our Christmas

It’s September. And for our family that means the beginning of Christmas gift planning. I know, I know-Christmas is 3 months away, but for those of us who must budget, now is the time to start. 

Our Christmases growing up were always great. In truth I much more preferred the “traditions” than the presents, but any kid enjoys the presents too! I am definitely a fan of starting traditions with my own kids, but I also had a lot to think about when it came to gifting.

Being a teacher, I knew my kids would never have the fanciest presents or the flashiest gifts. Actually, even if I did have the money, I wouldn’t buy my kids those kinds of presents either. To me, kids these days need to learn gratitude. It’s a long lost feeling in this age of entitlement. 

That is why we started the “Four gifts” plan. There are plenty of variations of it, but basically we gift our kids:

  • Something you want
  • Something you need
  • Something you’ll wear
  • Something you’ll read 

These four gifts always come from Mom and Dad. That way, after the years of Santa, we will still gift our kids four items. 

My kids know these four gifts come from Mom and Dad. Santa typically gifts our kids 5 presents each (totaling 9 presents per child, plenty in my opinion). The Mom and Dad presents are always the “nicer” of the gifts, meaning if my son wanted the latest video game or my daughter wanted Barbie’s dream house, they came out of their “want” gift from Mom and Dad.

Here’s my reasoning behind that. We do okay; we can provide some splurges for our kids, but I know many families who can’t. And it’s not fair for one child’s Santa to gift the latest and greatest when another child’s Santa can’t afford to gift that. So our Santa gifts are still things my kids would want, but the “big ticket” items are saved as a gift from Mom and Dad.

For us, this is plenty of gifts for our kids. They also have stockings with small candies and little things. When I started having kids, I never knew the amount of money that some parents put into Christmas gifts. You would not believe it! There are families who will-without problems-spend $1000 PER CHILD at Christmas! 

Number one, if you have that much money to throw around, good for you. Number two, you are just adding to the age of entitlement. I completely understand wanting to get everything your child wants. I really do. But I also know that an even bigger lesson for my kids is gratitude. My kids will be taught to be grateful for anything they are given, no matter the cost. And they need to learn that there are times in life when we don’t get exactly what we want, and we need to be okay with that too. 

Some people think I’m harsh for the way we handle Christmas gifts, but we try to put the focus of the season on the feeling of Christmas rather than the gifts. The idea of Santa, the magic, the traditions of family gatherings and special meals, the cookie baking and decorating. To me, these things far outweigh the gifts. 

However your family celebrates gift giving is great, honestly. But I would always encourage families not to forget that the magic of the season starts with you at home; just remember it’s the feeling of Christmas and not necessarily the gifts of Christmas that make the memories.

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